(This may seem a tad confusing; I wrote this before we left for Malawi. We are now back from Malawi.)

Oh dear.... I haven't maintained the blog. The shrubbery is out of hand, the letter box is jammed open
with junk mail, the lawn needs mowing... How did this happen?

You know well enough.

What? Is it because... the internet has been down.

That'll never fly. How do you explain the multitudes swarming from Sandy's computer every day?

Then... It's because I've been overworked – I never had a chance!

Mmhmm? Again I fear I shall have to draw a comparison with your mother who has been getting up at 4am to work on cases. How come she has the time to make blogs?

Ah... That's because... Homoeopathy is an unskilled labour! She, uh, has plenty of time to make blogs after finishing all those easy-peasy homoeopathic things she gets up to at ungodly hours.

Considering that the majority of the people who used, read your blog (and I say used for I suspect they've all ambulated off elsewhere in search of more active updates) are homoeopaths and friends and relatives of Sandy; a homoeopath, I suspect you may want to re-hash that statement.
Right. In which case I havn't updated because I simply haven't got round to it.

Closer... But perhaps too complimentary. Try rephrase that.

Ok. I don't know. You tell me.

Easy. You've been too lazy and procrastinated and done something else each time your mind wandered to the thought of doing another blog.

Never! It's not in your province to speak to me like that! I shall discontinue my conversation with you!

Fair enough. Why are you talking to me anyway?
I'm not entirely sure. Who are you?

Not completely certain myself. I think I may have manifested in your brain so that you have more reason to ramble.

Ah. What does that imply?

Don't know. Is this perhaps getting too meta? Should we move on?

Good idea. What have I been up to....

Summary of Unwritten Blogs

In the time that it's taken to to get around to another blog I have...

Taken 2697 photographs,


Recorded enough video to really bog down my computer.



Driven past fields which smell of treacle. (They burn the stumps of the sugar cane to clear the field for the next planting)

Felt quite ill.

Got 99% in a homoepathic course in Malawi.



Filmed far too many chickens. (There's something very compelling about recording chickens.)



Tried and failed to figure out how to play Bao

Had a christmas day swim.



Ran out of Jaffa cakes



Been harassed in a bus station, greeted a roadside monkey, eaten an apple in a bus station while anticipating the beginning of a on a tiring, beautiful, eventful and colorful bus journey, tried and failed to capture the amazement you get when you realize those clouds are actually a mountain on camera, lugged camera equipment along – hurrying to catch up, overtake and film groups of homoeopaths as they storm towards a clinic, and waited for half an hour for someone to exit a building so that I may film them only to watch in horror as they carefully left by a different entrance and then ducked down out of sight of the camera; apologizing for nearly getting in the shot of the nice empty door I was obviously so transfixed upon.

All in all; It's been a helluva a time.


We're going to squeeze a little bit more helluva juice out of Africa before we leave though; in a few days we're taking another bus journey down Tanzania and into Malawi to teach the next course to the students there. (interesting that I've never referred to the Malawi course on this blog before; but this will still make perfect sense to you considering that Sandy keeps her blog up to date and has already talked about it.)

So... another two exceptionally long bus journeys, and another ten days of slowly carrying the camera equipment up the hill in the sunlight. Strangely – I'm rather exited. If not at the bus journeys; at the idea of getting back to that town full of extraordinarily friendly people. Where vendors don't shout their wares in an incomprehensible din but rather proffer them and make a sibilant “sss-sss-sss-sss” noise (which, not only can you hear it over the noise of many people talking, doesn't piss you off as immensely as the methods employed by someone who thinks that the way to get you to buy their things is to shout at you, grab your arm, and insist, nay, command that you visit their shop.) So.. That'll be nice. (It's a sure sign a ramble has been too rambeley if you have to read back over to see what the point you were making is.)

Right. A swarm of flying sanguine collectors are indirectly insisting I conclude this blog and get inside the net of my bed. Tara.


[The program I used to get a handy chart of my computer space is called Win-Dir-Stat, or Windows Directory Statistics.]

Saint Ives

Oh noes! Two weeks have gone without a blog being posted! The internet was down. We've now changed our internet to Zantel; it's much faster; even if it is just because it's a much smaller company that vodacom (Tanzanian Vodafon) and there are less people using it. Vodacom would stop dead at around seven at night as everyone went online every night.). Don't tell your Tanzanian friends that Zantel is faster; because if too many people use it; it will inevitably slow down too. (Because of course you all have MANY friends who live in Tanzania; who I'm sure you'll all be on the phone to after you've finished reading this blog; discussing the benefits of Zantel at length. Huh... Telltales...)


     As I was going to Saint Ives; I met a man with seven wives. Ho-ho-ho.... Of course not; that would mean gross overpopulation of the area on the way to Saint Ives!
But It's true. Not on the way to Saint Ives from wherever "I" (as in as "I" was going) come from; but here; in Tanzania, in the area that the Masai (a Tanzanian Tribe) live. I was waiting outside a small building; where someone was being treated homoeopathically; and was me-andering about framing shots with a group of fifteen small children syaing "Give me money" to me; looking at each other a bursting out laughing (Mzungu (white person) with a camera - Much mirth all around). When Henry; who was translating for us came out. We had another translator with us and Henry didn't have to translate, so he was talking in Swahili to a woman who was in the yard outside the house for a while when he turned to me
"Davy; You see all these children?" he said; his voice edged with amazed disbelief. "They are all sons and daughters to the same man. Several different wives; but the same father."
I went away from this amazed; and mentioned this to mum. She said she had heard of a Masai man who had around 300 children. 300! Bloody 'ell. I wasn't that ready to believe her until I thought of the maths behind it. 25 wives with 12 children each? A lot of wives and a lot of children; but still believable. 50 wives with 6 children each? When you break it down it's still pretty crazy; but much more believable. 300 Children... I Imagine Birthdays just become a sort of afterthought there. "blah-blah-blah; maize might need to be harvested early this year... blah, blah, blah wind was very bad last week; wasn't it? A chicken my cousin owns gave birth to the same egg three times, blah, blah, blah; oh and it's Jeremy's birthday today; isn't it? mm. Better say happy birthday when I see him." This chap had to build a school for his children he had so many. 300... you could man a large battle galleon with that many people... You could form a senate three times over with 300 people.
      Anyway; I won't prattle on about that; and I shall move on to the Masai in general. They are a tribal people who live in Tanzania; originally nomadic; they have now settled down and have got involved with agriculture. They live in round mud and wood houses with thatched (Is thatched the right word for it? I'll upload a picture so you can see.)  The colours  they wear are extremely vibrant and colourful; and I fear I have not been capturing the colour very well with the video camera... I'll have to fiddle about with the settings a bit. They wear colourful cloaks and always carry a stick.

 Three Masai silhouetted against the valley behind. There is a plate boundary in that valley which makes a very beautiful ridge through it.

 

 Two Masai standing in the enterance to their hut to greet the approaching pastor. As you can see; Whether or not Masai are technically human is a widely controversial subject; due to their chickenoid body. But their elaborate building skills and prowess in agriculture make it clear the sentience of this race of people.

     The hills where they live are seemingly entirely made out of dust; and driving on the road is a matter of closing the windows tightly and watching the liquid dust splash against the windows. Even at a standstill; the dust in the air is enough to cause problems with the automatic lens cap on the video camera; which takes ten minutes of careful fiddling to get it to close/open without aid. As you drive along these treacherously three dimensional roads you see small children covered in dust turning them into small smiling grey skinned zombies.

     I've been working on a short video about the Masai; and will be releasing it soon. Where; I'm not sure; perhaps on the HHA  youtube channel. If there is one; HHA has made videos before; but I don't know what youtube channel they were on. One thing is for sure and that's that I will be giving a link on this blog when it's done.

     Well! Congratulations on making it through another long, aimless ramble of a blog; and don't forget to look at Sandy's blog if you actually want a blog with direction, information and actual quality. (Hah! Who want's quality in a blog! I'm certain that what people really want to hear is a jumble of incoherent snippets of news that make their brains dribble out their ears!)

          Tara from me; and see you next time.

Bloody 'ell. Everything seems too overwhelming one day; and then just when we think we've just got a grasp; everything just goes and happens. Which I must say is jolly inconsiderate. Where would we be if everything just happenes willy-nilly. In a black hole for one. Blinking at the green sun with our seventh eye for a second. Perhaps I'm taking a choice of words too literally. I shall now move on.

I fell sick on Thursday; which slowed things down a bit for me. Me and Sandy decided to take a day off, as we were both exhausted and slightly ill. Luckily enough; we coincidentally happened to be living in a house full of homoeopaths. Oh well; how convenient!

Oh! and one of the most exiting bit's of news; the Kili came out! Kilimanjaro usually jurks just out of sight behind the clouds; but every now and then; the clouds part for it. They did so yesterday; and they did so very well. It looked wonderful coming up out of the clouds; as if it were not actually connected to the ground.

Photogenic Lizard with a good sense of timing

Mzungu in Swahili is "white person" so we get a lot of people saying "Mzungu" to each other wherever we go. I used to be rather confused by this; because I wondered what context they were putting it in. I understood that a mzungo was seen as a foolish rich person who is ripe for overcharging and scamming; but I still wondered what they were saying. It wasn't something genuinely sensible like "oh look; that's the mzungo which was at "x" place at "x" time" or anything like that; because it seemed to be on it's own; just people saying "Mzungu" to themselves. Not really directed at said mzungu; more under their breath; as if taking note. (of course many times it will be directed at a mzungu; or in some other context; but I'm talking about the times, like I said; where it just seems to be as if they are taking a small verbal note.) I was baffled by this for a few days; until eventually it became that whenever I saw other wa-mzungu (wa makes words plural when you put it before a word.) I'd have to struggle to keep myself from saying "oh; look. Mzungu." to myself. I understand now. It's just that it's a bit of an event when you see a mzungo; and it is kind of worth mentioning...

Other than that; we've just been working at clinics (getting footage on my part, treating patients homoeopathically on my mothers part), sorting footage and case files and writing this blog. (I'll tell you aaaall about that latter part another day, and it won't be majorly paradoxical in any way.... *ahem*)

Oh; and I mentioned on the last post about an animal which says vegtinibbles. This is not true. After studious (looked up the word vegtinibble on google. Only this blog came up) research on the internet; I have not at found a single smidgin of evidence that the famous animal who supposedly calls them that does in fact call them that. It was Peter Rabbit I had in mind. So... I must have made it up some time between 4 and 15... Come to think of it; Beatrix Potter was very correct with her grammar and English; so I somewhat doubt she would have misspelled the word intentionally; even if it was a character she had invented saying it. Oh well... Probably won't bother me too much; it's too set in. I shall carry on thinking of Peter Rabbit as a chap who says Vegtinibble. Also; it means that you only need type the word "Vegtinibble" in google search to get this blog to come up (or perhaps my google search is biased; because I have been on this page before... I shall have to look into this.). This also Gives me an idea. If I say The word Quasmaflapstuck and publish this blocg; will that result in Quasmaflapstuck bringing up this blog on google? Or perhaps there is a brand of... uh... shoe retailers called quasmaflapstuck who have a website which would come up first. 

Right. My time is short, This blog is long, so from me;

  Tara!

 Omelet at the end of the road

Phew! Tanzania. Bloody 'ell. I'm flabbergasted beyond words. But of course I will have to attempt to put it into words anyway; because this is a blog; and that is what it demands of me. *sigh*

Perhaps I should start with the flight over. It's description will be rather brief and uninteresting; but it would probably be neatest to begin there. Let's try and sum it up... Airplane food. There. Done. Need I say more? *shudder* I shuddered there not only mentally; but physically. Though the latter may be because my back is to the open window. Perhaps I should say; I'm sitting in a Cafe which answers to the name of "The Union Cafe" and using the internet there; on account of the fact that the chaps who provide our internet via little usb sticks seem to be having problems.

We got off the airplane; got ourselves some visas and collected our hold luggage. Already there was clinching proof that indeed; I was in a different country, and not in fact still in dublin airport; as I turned around with my wheely-bag. (Blogger seems to think that wheely-bag is not how I want to spell it; and that wheezy-bag is more appropriate. I think not.) I turned around and saw in front of me; a Cigarette ad! Good gracious. It seemed so strange after years of living in a country where advertising cigarettes is illegal. Oh these heathen farigners.

What else to mention? I suppose I could go over in great detail how the speed bumps they have are steep and hard; very effective; as you have to slow down almost to a stop if you want to go over them; but I somewhat suspect that that would not make a very interesting blog. (not much to lose then; h-ho!... *cough*) Our I could mention how the smaller roads made of compacted stone and  dirt look as if they have been there all along; and people have simply scraped away the topsoil covering them. I have nabbed myself a picture of it; which I'll add in here. You'll see what I mean when you see they way the sides of the road sink back down under the topsoil.

Hmm. Perhaps that picture doesn't show it enough. I'll post another on a different post. Now; since I've gone done the road of photo uploading; I'll show a picture of Rosie and here stall which is just at the end of our road. She sells delicious bananas, assorted fruit and vegtinibbles. (comment if you know what famous animal called them that.) And also; she sells eggs! So; it's a handy ommelette at the end of our road! Anyway; better finish this before the internet runs out!

Tara!

 Packing-Post

Get this get that; pack those, buy these; quick! where have the passports gone! Four days 'till liftoff and then it's onwards to Tanzania. Bloody 'ell. Making a quick blog post is one of the items on the list; so here is "The Packing Blog Post" *dramatic music*

I'm going to try not to simply post a long list of everything I have to pack, but it will be challenging; considering that is what the entirety of the contents of my head is focused on. I've abandoned all hopes of personal hygiene for the duration of the ... "Packing!" *more dramatic music* as I find my self sucked in to a never ending pit of packing clothes; taking clothes out again to wear them; washing them; and so on. Solution; wear the same clothes and worry about packing the other things. Cheaty, I know; but I can't think of any better ways. I'm still trying very vigilantly to not let (toothbrush)this post degrade (camera) into a big (where's the phone charger! where's the phone charger!) list of things I (I still need to get the table top mic stand for the interviews!) need to get together before (what? I cannot comprehend this video editing software! What was the other one??) Tuesday (aaaaargh! where's my deodorant gone! It was just right here by the sink yesterday!) the thirteenth (playing cards) (chocolate) (extra memory card for the camera) (camera stand for the interviews....) (......) ........


PS: Yes, of course chocolate is a necessary item to pack.